"People don't know how to love. They bite rather than kiss. They slap rather than stroke. Maybe it's because they recognize how easy it is for love to go bad, to become suddenly impossible... unworkable, an exercise of futility. So they avoid it and seek solace in angst, and fear, and aggression, which are always there and readily available. Or maybe sometimes... they just don't have all the facts."

      ----------------------------------------------------------------

"Anger and resentment can stop you in your tracks. That's what I know now. It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life that it swallows and smothers. It's real, though - the fury, even when it isn't. It can change you... turn you... mold you and shape you into something you're not. The only upside to anger, then... is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they're not afraid to take the journey, someone that knows that the truth is, at best, a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits, and in its wake, leaves a new chance at acceptance, and the promise of calm. Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child."

 ---- The Upside Of Anger.



<3's


P.S. -- im content.


                           and i like it.

[	Current Location	|	home.	]
[	mood	|	irritated	]
[	music	|	Holly Brook	]

this is one of the very few moments in my life that i have been speechless.

i have no idea what to say.

im back from florida. it was fun. it was relaxing. i didn't even think about this town. which was the best part about the vacation. (pics later)
then i come back. and its like everything has changed. or maybe i have. i dont know.

but either way. wow. i just dont know what to say.

this town - BULLSHIT.

the people in it - even bigger  BULLSHIT.

everyone is a hypocrite.
everyone lies.
everyone is selfish.
everyone is out to get someone.
everyone is doing something just so in the end it makes thier life better or they get some advantage.
 
i just dont get it.

          i just dont.

i dont get people.

this one girl CLAIMS to be my friend. we've known eachother for a damn long time, and everytime i turn my damn back there she is talking shit about me or something else. i just don't get it. ive told that girl everything! maybe i just made the mistake of be her friend again. forgiving her.
i thought she was the one person that maybe, when she really siad, "i'm not gunna take sides" well.. maybe she really meant it.

and wow. .. this one well.. i dont give a fuck about her... our friendship just turned to shits when we both started acting nice, but all she does it talk shit or try and make drama. i swear she talked shit about EVERYONE of her friends. and here she is trying to become friends again and telling this person that she sees her going places, when as far as i remember. .. when we were back in school, all she did was talk about how much she hated this girl, and how obnoxious she was, and she was just rediculous and immature.

and then.. haha. what can i say about this person. .. i just dont know about her. we got into a really really bad arguement, it was more than just an arguement, but then she tells me she wants to talk about it and she writes me this long message explaining why we got into that shit in the first place and yada yada yada and now as far as i can tell. .. maybe im prejudgeing this, but.. .as far as i see it, she hates me now.

i just don't even fucking get it.

MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS PEOPLE. hate me, or love me.

i dont give a shit. if you really cared. then you wouldn't be talking shit about me or what not.

i just want to know who my real fucking friends are.

but. .. i guess maybe the moral to this is you can' t fucking trust anyone.
your friends are your closest fucking enemies in the end.

damn.
girls.. uggh. 

and it sux just knowing that i have one more freaking year here.
god, college couldn't come any slower! 

 people never cease to amaze me. ha.
<3's.

I'M HOOOOOOMMMEE!!!

well.. it turns out i did go to the lake house! 


and.. im sooooo glad that i did.

i had a blast. i love laurel's cousins and their friends!!

i had such an amazing time! i can't wait to go back.

but.. hopefully i'll only be home for 3 more days, and then its off to florida with kayla!!!

cross your fingers that i'll get to go!

: ) i love summer!!! hehe.

<3's

[	Current Location	|	the homestead.	]
[	mood	|	good	]
[	music	|	Oasis	]

im done with school (for now)
and it feels amazing.
i will be a senior next year
and i dont even know how to explian how i feel about that.
its exciting, and scary all at the sametime.
ok well.. summer will be fun and relaxing all at the sametime.
i can't wait.
it will be one great adventure.

<3's.

[

mood

|

happy

]

so i think this spring break has deff.  been one of the greatest memories of my life.
hanging out with mary and natalia everyday.
and not to mention meeting the greatest ppl on earth who make me laugh like crazy. i felt like at the end of the week, that we've known eachother for like ever. i will always remember these kids. and this spring break.
( thank the lord mary brought me with her ) lol. : )

PICTURE TIME:::

-  -
me & mary on the way down to florida.

-  -
the Sunset as we go over the bridge to destin.

-  -
so we met up with nat and this is her and mary doing this sky flyer thing. i was too chicken to do it. lol. but we hung out with nat basically all week, which was amazing! lol. i love her!

these next ones are of me and mary on the beach.
-  -

-  -

-  -

-  -
our condo. .. the taller one of the two.

-  -
our beach. : )

-  -
our tatoos. lol. Libra(me) and Capricorn (mary)

-  -
me and mary parasailing. (sp?)

-  -
us and the really hot parasailing dudes. (the blonde haired guy on the left and the one standing up on the right.) lol.

-  -
on the deck with some cool kids. Left to Right :
(some kid. ha., justin, nat, me, mary, and paul)

-   -
paul playing guitar for all of us.

-  -
Nat, Justin,and Me. : )

-  -
basically my favorite people on the trip including, Nat who couldn't be there. From Left to Right::
( Mary, Josh, Megan, Thomas, Justin,Me,and Baron's knee) haha : )

-  -
a bunch of weird girls on the left,justin, mary,justin, me, cool girl, nat, and paul.

-  -
Nat, Me, and Mary. : ) <3's to both of you girlie's ( i think it's halerious how we hung out with nat more in destin then in tn, which that is going to change! lol )

-  -
our amazing chicago friends, us, and the security guard with torrets (sp?)

-  -
w/o the guard. left to right ( josh,megan,me,(below me,thomas),justin,mary,natalia,and baron).. i love these people. : ) : ) they all made my spring break amazingly fun. plus some other ppl i met too!

this was an amazing trip, and experience!!!

<3333's

[	mood	|	discontent	]
[	music	|	none	]

so.. ..

           maybe i do believe in karma.

<3's


p.s. -- valentine's day is coming up and im dreading it. lol. but on the bright side elizabethtown comes out on dvd on tuesday! : )

[	mood	|	creative	]
[	music	|	the scene aesthetic	]

so on saturday i went to nashville with jordan and my sister to the flea market(love it) and the circus(mucho fun!)

pictures from the circus:

--

-

--

-

--

-

--

-

--

-

--

-

--

-

--

-

--

-

--

-

--

-

it was fun. my whole weekend was pretty good i must say.
i love my friends! lol.

♥'s

[

mood

|

content

]

I don't want to talk to you anymore;
I'm afraid of what I might say.
I bite my tongue everytime you come around,
cause blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground.

Hand over my heart; I swear I've tried everything in my power.
Two weeks in one hour I slaved, and now I've got nothing to show.
Oh, if only you'd grow taller than a brick wall.

From now on I'm gonna start holding my breath when you come around
and you flex that fake grin, cause something inside me has said more than twice
that breathing less air beats breathing you in!

I don't want to talk to you anymore;
I'm afraid of what I might say.
I bite my tongue everytime you come around,
cause blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground.

Hand over my mouth; I'm earning the right to my silence.
In quiet, discerning between ego and timing.
Good judgement is once again proving to me
that it's still worth it's weight in gold.

So from now on I'm gonna be so much more wary when you start to speak
and my warm blood starts to boil,
that seeing you is like pulling teeth and hearing you is like
chewing tin foil.

I don't want to talk to you anymore;
I'm afraid of what I might say.
I bite my tongue everytime you come around,
cause blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground.

High fives to better judgement. By saying less, I will gain more.
Low twos to you my fickle friend, you brought the art of silent war.





<3's

nos·tal·gia (n-stlj, n-)

Pronunciation: nä-'stal-j&, n&-, no-; n&-'stäl-
Function: noun
1 : the state of being homesick
2 : a wistful or excessively sentimental sometimes abnormal yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition —nos·tal·gic /-jik/ adjective —nos·tal·gi·cal·ly /-ji-k(&-)lE/ adverb


<3's

[	mood	|	content	]
[	music	|	Augustana.	]

                                                          I'm Feeling Disastrous.




 

underoath in 10 days!.





<3's

Let's just stop,
drop everything,
[forget each other's names] forget each other's names,
And just walk away.

Turn around and head in different directions,
Like we never, it's like we never knew each other at all.
We said what we feel, then we stop ourselves,
And just walk away.
Never looking back,
Loving every second of it,
we just walk away.

This is probably the best,
not to mention the worst idea,
that I have ever had.

Ignoring what we've loved,
Overlooking what we've done,
No awkward silences, no hiding any truths
What do you say?

We say what we feel,
Then we stop ourselves,
And just walk away.
Never looking back,
Loving every second of it,
We just walk away.

Let's just stop,
Drop everything,
Forget each other's names,
Can we please just walk away?
It could be...could be...
Like we never knew each other at all.

Answer me!
All egos aside, what do you say?




<3's

[

mood

|

okay

]

Dear Life,

SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.... at least..maybe just a little.
becuase i need to cheerish and remember these moments in my life right now.
with great friends and amazing memories that i will never forgret.
so.. please stop going so fast so i can just chill.
sometimes.. i wish i didn't have to grow up.
[only sometimes]

                 love,
                       Megan.


<3's

I'm so Hot to Trot.

. ...yearbook pictures are fun!

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	none.	]

Dear Megan,

  here is your mental note to remind you to try and make new friends.

ones who dont always talk about drugs, and ones who show you that they care.

and talk to daniel more.. and get closer to other ppl as well.. And most importantly..

forget the past.


love always,

         Me.






<3's


p.s. im tryin to stay away from drugs right now... smoking cigs will do.

[	mood	|	content	]
[	music	|	Jewel	]

                                                                   I'm pretty content right now..
                                                                                                   and i like it. : ) : )




            i haven't felt like this in a longgg time. hehe.



<3's

[	mood	|	creative	]
[	music	|	Video Killed The Radio Star	]

So i took some really cool pictures yesterday.. so here some are::


<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

things are ok.. could be better, could be worse.. nothing too bad right now. so no complaints i guess.

end... tell me what ya think. later loves.


<3's

[

mood

|

aggravated

]

just a thought;

 

                        Don't Take Friendship Personal.





...end.